this is the thought’s been running through my head for the past week. so now i’m trying to take advantage of every moment here. i voluntarily stayed up after watching the 3 hour Bollywood movie – that ended at 2:30AM – to hang out with Boss. on saturday (yesterday), i took the “team saturday” class (the makeup for those who miss or are late for regular classes) for fun!
sick i know.
but even before coming to training, i was a yoga geek. as my beleaguered friends and family will attest, it’s my favorite topic of conversation – and activity. to spend these 9 weeks with nearly 400 like-minded people is a dream come true.
we are riding a wave, as one of the teachers here explained (can’t remember who said it). and the peaks and troughs of the process are intense and fulfilling – the peaks because you feel superhuman and the troughs because you learn how to continue on until arriving at the next peak. same happens in every day life, just here each is heightened and condensed. personal growth on steroids.
also, i’ve never been around so many folks with smiling happy faces in my life. everyone around me is glowing.
it will be hard to leave this beautiful, loving and super supportive group of people. but it will end. and i will continue. daily practice and teaching(!) and being with my real-life loves will ease the way. now i must try to help other people to glow.
week six
it’s all going by so quickly. i don’t even know where to begin. hmm. . . . i came back to my room on tuesday to a surprise care package from Bikram Yoga in the Mission – my home studio! i was incredibly touched that they put together such a thoughtful gift full of goodies and a beautiful card signed by my yogi friends and soon-to-be colleagues. lovely way to lift my spirits. continually grateful for my yoga family! oh, and they included a Bikram Yoga in the Mission tee shirt, which i kept meaning to buy for myself before leaving for training and never got around to. i’ve been rocking the tee nonstop, representing Mission Yoga, remembering the good vibes from home, and getting loads of compliments on it in the process. super cool.
another great surprise from home was Liza coming to visit training. Liza manages the mission studio and completed teacher training in LA this past spring. she rules! i swear, her smile lights up everything within five miles of where she stands. such fun to chat with her about our experiences at training. her presence was a giant hug from home.
classes have been great – i’m getting more flexible despite my hamstring injury. my practice is improving, which is contrary to what many people here have expressed. i feel awesome. bikram taught a crazy hot class on monday, which was carnage yet super fulfilling. i moved to the left side of the room. the first half of training was spent on the right side. next move is to the middle. gotta get at least a week’s worth of classes in front of the podium. i’ve not been slacking in the least. i’m just nervous to be called out by boss for doing something incorrectly or for my general appearance. stop being chicken shit. i will get over there!
also, i’ve stopped drinking so much water during class – now just during party time, first savasana, and supta vajrasana. will continue to cut back.
one of my favorite classes of all training was taught on Tuesday (?) evening by Pubali, who i believe is Bikram’s niece, from Bikram Yoga Manchester, NH. Love LOVE her! her beautiful voice + clear instruction + her rockin sense of humor = totally fucking awesome class!
posture clinics continued to go really well for me. Pubali was our lead for one of my best days – a day we were in the lecture room. being in the lecture room is kind of a big deal. you get to use the mic, you’re on stage, and Michon (lead staff member and BY teacher) is throwing all sorts of distractions your way while you try to deliver the dialogue unsullied. my distractions were having to close the curtains during the posture set up as well as dealing with various vocalizations from Michon on the other mic oh and i figured out to take the mic away from my face when he kept messing with my volume. i consider this one of my stronger deliveries because i was able to go nearly verbatim despite the distractions. need to better learn how to use a mic though. i have a loud voice naturally. fun times!
oh yeah, we had the fascia guy lecture. it wasn’t as fascianating (sorry, couldn’t resist) as it could have been. i wish he took fewer questions so he could talk more about the work he does. i felt like he was withholding info so we would buy his book. oh well.
week seven
best week yet! super strong (and by strong i mean flexy bendy) yoga classes, end of posture clinics, and the funnest halloween dance party!
halloween party recap: Monday night, post-class a bunch of costumed and hungry yogis file into the lecture hall-cum-dance club – outfitted with a disco ball, spotlights, and smoke machine. to the right is all the soda 400 people could possibly drink and all the way in the back is the pizza. i am dressed as an elf, which means i spent 5 bucks to buy stick on ears – and then put on a dress. michon’s djing, jessica’s pouring the drinks (soft) and eddie and erik are making sure we don’t hurt each other while negotiating with the other 400 fellow trainees trying to get slices into their faces ASAP. i ate three pieces and drank a keg cup of orange soda! i haven’t touched orange soda since 5th grade! it was delicious! i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, we’re going through some weird shit.
cut to sugar-high yogis dancing our collective asses OFF! so much fun! so much! shiniest happiest people i’ve ever seen. at least sober. i danced my pants off till midnight with a dozen or so trainees and the staff. could have kept going, but i was afraid i’d turn into a pumpkin. we did after all have class the next day at 8:30AM. lost my voice. still joyful thinking about how fun it was!
posture clinics ended on thursday of this week. i delivered final spinal (spine twisting posture) on wednesday night. this is by far the most difficult moment for me throughout training. worse than the puking and nausea. worse than gollum face.
i have had nearly verbatim and well-paced deliveries since the the very first one. and i know spine twist dialogue. i have it. i can recite it now if called upon. but something happened. maybe i subconsciously sabotaged myself, i don’t know, but when i got up there, i could not get the words to come out. during the first pause – there were several – i began laughing and said, “this is ironic.” because it was. this happens to most people in the beginning of clinics and then they improve over the course of the process. for me, the last posture was my worst. i still don’t understand what happened. i told will, “i feel like bill buckner, and the red sox is my ego.” that’s the only way to describe the utter letdown and disappointment. you come so far and then fuck it all up at the end. and there’s no way to redeem myself because this is the final posture. i somehow got the dialogue out, albeit haltingly. had to ask my groupmates because i couldn’t remember anything from my time up there. once my feedback was given, i started sobbing. my dear friend A rushed me with a hug, and i melted. she has been my inspiration through this training. she speaks no english yet she can recite the english dialogue verbatim and with panache! amazing girl. then my whole group gave me a hug. so grateful for them! it was so hard to maintain my dignity and not continue sobbing. blessedly the clinic ended 5 minutes later. that morning i woke at 6am repeatedly reciting final spinal to myself. ugh. the next day i was not much better. luckily group members let me talk it out with them so i could begin to let it go. it still haunts me a bit, but not nearly as strongly. i will let go. it is only my ego.
eddie’s class that next morning also helped. eddie is a staff member here and it was his birthday so he got to teach thursday morning class – yay! you see his smile and you can’t help but warm up. i know, i know, another smile description. i tell you people, you gotta get this yoga in your life! change your life!
i left class feeling way better and continued to improve as the day went on.
feeling good feeling great. happy to start week 8!
PS: my life includes many exclamation points now. get over it!